Second thoughts...

As the deadline for completing my university application is drawing closer and closer, I'm starting to think more.

 

Now, I know that some of you might be thinking that the new academic year hasn't even started yet and the deadline isn't for a good few months but I'm one of those people that worry. I worry quite a lot and that then leads me to become anxious. It's hard for me to relax and de-stress when there's something on my mind. But, I can't let it go until it's sorted. I began my search for universities and the 'right' course  relatively early; I've been researching, visiting uni's and looking at courses since April/May.

 

Previously, I'd had many doubts about my choice in course for university. I never fully made a decision and I explored a large variety of options. Finally, I found a selection of courses that I'm genuinely interested in and am happy with. But now, I'm doubting it again. There are a few reasons for my doubts; all of my past experience lies in a completely different area, I don't feel passionate about one subject although I have many hobbies, and I don't have a clue what I want to do or aim for in the future. 
What are you supposed to base your decision on when you don't even have a goal for life? 

 

I know that it's an extremely tough decision for most people and we're not expected to know what we want to do at 17/18. But still, I don't feel confident with my latest decision and I fear making a huge mistake. I don't want to complete three years, build up all of that debt, and come out regretting my choice in course.

 

This is such a life changing experience that I can't afford to make the wrong decision. No matter what anybody says, I will not feel comfortable going to university unless I'm positively confident about my choice in university.

 

So, although I have a couple of months until my sixth form's UCAS application deadline, I'm starting to toy with the idea of deferring my entry into university and taking a gap year. Although I know deferring my entry means I still need to apply and will eventually except an offer (if I get any!) by summer next year, I think that I can use the time to maybe 'find myself', get some proper work experience, get some life experience away from home, create some amazing memories and make a more informed and mature decision about university at the end of it. Hopefully then I will feel much more happy and confident with my final decision.


This post is quite personal to me in that I'm not so much of an open, talk to people to get what's on my mind off of my chest, kind of person. So, this is my way of expressing how I'm feeling in a way that I feel comfortable with.